Meditating on Brandy

There is nothing to writing, you just sit down and bleed – Bukowski

Not that I’m a fan… Never actually read the man, but his words do seem to resonate with the meaning of writing. It’s not that there is a point to express, rather, the meaning of writing is to test your reality towards yourself by receiving feedback from the world. I’m not making sense am I?! Well I suppose I need to be genuine in order to make some sense, and perhaps my sentences should be a tad bit simpler. 

Now, in order to write what we need is a topic, or in other words, a way to skew reality in an attractive direction. Just so the audience can be a bit more interested in reading the next sentence. But why would someone read anything a person has to say? This enigma always eluded me, although I always found it interesting how people seem to stick to something that they identify with, such as a convenient lie or a consoling perspective. The truth however, seems to always repulse readers, and I have to admit, I am no better. For, whenever someone dares to speak his mid and give a perspective on their own reality I find it mostly badly timed, rushed. Thus, we people need the gentle touch of diplomacy. For, we do not seem to be able to confront information that conflicts with our identity – with our decisions that we have made in the past.

There is this type of people that love to call themselves, “Brutally honest”, they praise themselves on having the gall to say everything that they have on their mind, while bypassing the regard for the possible ways that the other person may receive the information. In fact, at best, they seem cold and inconsiderate – which, granted, does seem to attract a certain type of audience. Still, I do tend to prefer the more diplomatic type. In fact I would rather be in the company of a person that is more considerate to pulling your emotional strings via diplomacy and leading you to a path that you may not be fully aware off, even if it is not in your best interest… The person leading, may make it seem so, thus eventually converting you to that particular way of thinking and making you accept your new bright idea that they have implanted. In short, the question I am posing is: “Is manipulation that bad?”
Your interests can change over time, your decisions are made based on your feeling and rationalized with your logical capacity and not the other way around. So why not?

Why not just relieve yourself of the thinking needed to make a decision? All the proactivity, scheming and thinking ahead… Doesn’t it just feel better to be a pawn? Than to choose the direction that you have to go? Doesn’t it feel better to play the victim? – You can always blame someone else when you are not satisfied with the outcome… In contrast, you might have to make some life-changing decisions that affect you, or even worse – that affect other people…

The answer to this question is regrettably rather personal. Nobody would dare say “Well I’d rather relieve myself of control and making decisions”. However, the reality is rather cynical, since we do not abide by the things we say. In fact, we are rarely congruent with the things we say. Thus, sometimes we rather just relinquish control of our lives, usually under the guise of “It’s not my fault, or  just I don’t care”, but really we are just finding excuses to shift the responsibility of making decisions for ourselves.

And so, the answer to the question to whether you should let someone else dictate your fate while pretending that there is nothing you can do about it is: NO!

Because fuck fate.

The only way, you can bend the circumstances to your will is to NOT accept them.

So you have a pleasant truth in front of you, so what? Do not think your self so weak as to be in constant need of chasing validation and happiness. You can sometimes do with a little pain and suffering. Especially if it leads you to straining, or even changing the current path that someone else has drawn out for you.
So fuck ’em… It’s OK to change your mind, and it is OK to be wrong. Most importantly, it is OK to be selfish.



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